Scary Night

Its the day where I actually felt weird, scared n freaked out talking bout sex.... Somehow, this is bad..... I nvr felt it such way before but last nite, my heart was beating fast..... like as if, wat i did was a mistake.... A huge mistake that even god would think twice to forgive me......

Till today it is bothering me alt and not sure what should i do bout it but wateva it is, i have to find solution to it soonest possible..................

A note to Mr. J....

Dear J,

Its been some time since we contacted each other.... Its been some time since I met you..... It also been some time to make me realise that I've been missing you from my life....

Dear J,

Do you think I will ever be able to contact you anymore? Do you think our friendship ends from our last conv.? Do you ever think of me?

Dear J,

Recently you have been on my mind.... Officially & Unofficially.... Not sure it should be there at the back of my mind or the front..... I'm not even sure if thinking of you n missing you ever a sin.... You were there once but now when I have happiness to share, I see you no more at the back for my support..... I wonder the mistake we did was ever a mistake only to the eyes of those who knows us or to the world which is far more sinner......

Dear J,

I MISS YOU & WILL BE MISSING YOU & WILL ALWAYS MISS YOU & HOPING TO SEE YOU AGAIN...........

New Year, New Life, New Beginning....

Its New Year & totally new life..... Hope, its the best year thou I've been facing shocks after shocks since the time 2010 started...... Like lost fren called back after 4 years, lost guy after a year meets up again and worse, a lost soul contacted back from the grave after a sudden ritual, i suppose....

Gosh, its pretty freaky as its just the beginning and I'm already facing things unexpectedly.... What's far ahead of me is pretty scary, like the new movie which is about to release soon, THE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY..... hahahahaha....

Guess, i just gotta wait and see what more shocking, freaky, heart attacking news awaits me!!!

2weeks

Its been 2 weeks now since I've not been in contact wif you but yet i can't make myself to contact you anymore.... Plus, i miss you like madly but it hurts to think back what i went thru and made myself go thru when i knew its the wrong path i chose and wish i nvr chose it...... In fact, its a path i could have ignored if i wanted to..... I cry every night thinking of you only to find out you don't do the same..... But its my feelings and its not yours, i cant expect the same from you...........

I wish i nvr knew you, i wish you nvr existed in my life and i really wish i could wake up the next morning and say "Who is that?" but sadly, i can't as those things only happens in movies..... Many signs were shown as a reason for me to leave but i used the smallest issues as a reason for me to stay on and the only reason was cause of HOPE...... I hoped on you, i trusted you even when my bestie did her best to make me leave you..... I suffered alot cause of you and you took everything like im worthless, seriously, am I not worthful to you? am I that bad that you had to ditch me halfway thru the the River of Niles? I think i was good enough for you but you.... you nvr appreciated that...... And I still wonder why.....

I wish i nvr did anything or was even out wif you as it hurts to see those places i went to wif you, those conversations we had..... I try to delete those memories from my mind, those that kept me happy, those that kept me smiling, those that showed me hope, those that hurt me as well......

Tell me............ What should I do to keep you wif me forever? Or at least to make you disappear from my life forever?

Facebook Detoxification.....

I'm claim myself as a facebook addict.... I can't live a day without facebook. Even if I'm at home during weekends(I don't have a comp.), I still surf the web(FACEBOOK I mean) thru my mobile(thanks to technology!!!)...... How pathetic is that??? Well I know there's many of you facing the same shit im going thru.... hehehehehe

So, I decided to detoxify from facebook by challenging myself not to visit facebook at all for 10 days... So far, I got thru 5 days...... Yeah, Me!!!! So, maybe those out there still suffering of Facebook Addiction, should probably detoxify yourself by self challenging....

Mayan Calendar-Disaster or New Life??

As you know, everyone's talking about the Mayan Calendar ever since the movie 2012 been released. What you can see, the picture beside its the actual Mayan Calendar by the MesoAmericans of the Pre-Columbian times.

Each picture on the Calendar has its own meaning. For example, The Face in the middle is called Tonatiuh's face which means, the face of the Sun. The Lord of Heaven. Thats not all, when i checked on the net, this is what I got for the defination of its whole face ' The Lord of Heaven, around which took place all daily or periodic Phenomena. The crown, nose pendant, earrings & necklace falls under luxy and the ornaments proper for the deity. Wherelse the hair represents the golden apprearance of the star. The wrinkles on the face is to show how matured is he and the tongue, like an obsidian knife stuck outward indicates the need of being fed blood and human hearts. According to the Mayan calendar, there are only 260 days in a year.

But what the question runs in all our minds is, whether or not the world ends in 2012 as per the movie said.... Is the disasters takes place as such before we all are long gone??

There are 5 elements, the fire, wind, water, metal & earth. World ends with disasters taken place by this elements but how far is this true,we ain't so sure.... But what we know is 'Precaution is better than Cure' So, be careful with whats happening around you. Everyday, there's a disaster happening around us. Mexico has volcano eruption(Fire), Indonesia's on fire(Fire), Philippines in hit of Thyphoon(Water & Wind), Australia suffering from climate change(Wind), China with Religion War Between the Xinjiang-Urumqi & China-Chinese(Water-related to blood & Earth).... What more could happen? Families are killing each other, animals & humans are dying of sickness.... Are all this the signs of world ending or maybe its the end for a New Beginning of a New Era like the Mayans said?

At right is the ancient Mayan Pyramid Chichen Itza, Yucatan, Mexico. The Pyramid of Kukulkan at Chichén Itzá, constructed circa 1050 was built during the late Mayan period, when Toltecs from Tula became politically powerful. The pyramid was used as a calendar: four stairways, each with 91 steps and a platform at the top, making a total of 365, equivalent to the number of days in a calendar year. Because the two calendars were based on 260 days and 365 days respectively, the whole cycle would repeat itself every 52 Haab' years exactly. This period was known as a Calendar Round. The end of the Calendar Round was a period of unrest and bad luck among the Mayans, as they waited in expectation to see if the gods would grant them another cycle of 52 years. Haab is the name for the Maya Calendric System.

Hope this awares everyone to look into what lies ahead of us to educate themself for self-improving & to be prepared.... But i know i'm not prepared yet!!! Hehehehehe

~So Life isn't Fair at All Times~

Ok, so life isn't that fair for each and everyone of us.... We complain, we whine, we scream n we cry but just wait a moment and think, does any one of this ever helping u or ruining ur health better....

Something that happened to me yesterday....
I was sooooooo furious over some issues that happened related to work and I kinda blast it off to a bestie of mine where i said things that I should have never said it or maybe it is something that I would never say.... Which did hurt her but being a nicest person, she truly understood my situation n took it like a big girl(errrr, ok tat didn't sound superb.....).

But then again, you can't use that as an excuse and get away with it... You have to apologize and make up to it... As, it is already too much for a person to listen to ur nonsense and just make it worse by saying things u shouldn't say to the one who's hearing you.... You have to stop being a jerk and amend those atttitudes which would make others hate you......

That's part of life... Mistakes... If we don't do it, we never learn it and change to be a better person....